Google, I hate you! (But I want you to love me!)
Do you resent the fact that "Google" has become a verb? Sick of SEO? Tired of obsessing over PageRank? Wish you could quit Google, but secretly crave Google's attention and acceptance? You're not alone!
I hate myself for loving you (my Google rant)
by hmsweaver
Before you flame me and call me a hypocrite, let me disclose a few things. Yes, I use Google's products. I love that I can see my house from space with Google Earth! I've used Adsense and Adwords, and I still use Blogger, Gmail, etc. In all likelihood, I will continue to use Google products. Google is everywhere, and most of the stuff is free -- how can I help it?
But it's getting out of hand. I think about Google all the time -- keywords, backlinks, SEO strategies... What will Google think if I do this? Will Google like that? What if that makes Google mad? I don't want to upset Google!
But I hate that I HAVE to do that! Google's looming Google-icious omnipresence gets on my nerves and under my skin, and I hate myself for having to love Google, especially when Google gives no evidence of loving me in return. Some days it seems like Google loves me, and other days, Google turns all fickle and ignores me for no apparent reason. It's maddening!
Some days, I just want to break up with Google. I want Google to take all his stuff and get out, and leave me alone with my own quiet life. And I can make my place just the way I like it, without having to worry about what Google will think.
But then I'm jerked back to reality. I can't live without Google. Nobody will like me if Google doesn't like me. I'm nothing without Google.
And then I'm back to where I started. I hate myself for loving Google. I hate Google for making me love him. Google, come back! I didn't mean it! Call me!
But it's getting out of hand. I think about Google all the time -- keywords, backlinks, SEO strategies... What will Google think if I do this? Will Google like that? What if that makes Google mad? I don't want to upset Google!
But I hate that I HAVE to do that! Google's looming Google-icious omnipresence gets on my nerves and under my skin, and I hate myself for having to love Google, especially when Google gives no evidence of loving me in return. Some days it seems like Google loves me, and other days, Google turns all fickle and ignores me for no apparent reason. It's maddening!
Some days, I just want to break up with Google. I want Google to take all his stuff and get out, and leave me alone with my own quiet life. And I can make my place just the way I like it, without having to worry about what Google will think.
But then I'm jerked back to reality. I can't live without Google. Nobody will like me if Google doesn't like me. I'm nothing without Google.
And then I'm back to where I started. I hate myself for loving Google. I hate Google for making me love him. Google, come back! I didn't mean it! Call me!
Suggested therapies for your Google-aches and pains
- Acknowledge your frustrations over the Google-ization of everything.
- Read what some clever anti-Googlers are doing in rebellion.
- Check out the latest anti-Google blog rants.
- Wear your feelings on your sleeve (or chest, or head) with some anti-Google apparel.
- Uninstall your Google toolbar.
- Do a search for something, using anything but Google search.
You're not the only one that hates Google
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byOther people think Google sucks, too
Google-sucks.org - The Anti-Google - Webmaster Forum
compare this: Originally Posted by google-sucks Go more...0 points
Top 10 Reasons Google Sucks My Chia Pets - Montréal SEO Specialist ...
Google Sucks. All of us SEO consultants work our b more...0 points
Bill Kearney: Google sucks lately
Came here from searching "google sucks&am more...0 points
GOOGLE SUCKS !!!
FINALLY, I CAN EXPRESS THAT GOOGLE SUCKS !!! HERE more...0 points
UtterlyBoring.com: Getting Banned By Google Sucks
If anyone would like to talk more and more about w more...0 points
Google Sucks
Everything sucks in some ways, and everything can more...0 points
Why Google sucks.
It's blatantly obvious Google sucks, and it just s more...0 points
Google Sucks at SSL's - Weasely One
I'm sitting in SEOClass in New York and Brad Gedde more...0 points
anti google sucks DARTH GOOGLE
copyright (c) 2005 darth-google.com.0 points
Google Sucks and Squidoo Does Not | Lost Ball in High Weeds
Out of all the blogs and websites I have, only a h more...0 points
Google Sucks - Blogs, Pictures, and more on WordPress
Wow, Google is becoming harder and harder to avoid more...0 points
Google Horror Stories
Google Horror Stories is for anyone who has been s more...0 points
Google is Trying to Take Over the World
Google is trying to take over the world From humbl more...0 points
This cow hates Google
"Google Sucks" Blog Posts from Google
ironic, isn't it
Here are some other people's rants, courtesy of the blog-searching Googlebot.
- Google Maps Navigation In Europe | Android Community
- If they charge for routing you all will pitch a fit and talk about how Google Sucks... etc... The li...
- Google Launching Twitter-Killer For Gmail!
- Google sucks 50%, Twitter sucks 100% WTF, discuss something important. Reply. Harsh (URL) on Feb 8,...
- Nexus One News Flash: Google Sucks at Customer Service
- Nexus One News Flash: Google Sucks at Customer Service. January 18, 2010 · 2 comments. Google does...
- Steve Jobs: Adobe is Lazy, Google is Bullcrap, Next iPhone A+ ...
- Google sucks. Google = bullcrap >> Indeed !!!! They think they can do anything. Funny how ever...
An exercise in futility? Trying to improve your Google PageRank?
good luck...
PageRank is a major cause of headaches for many webmasters and marketers. Here are some resources that may or may not provide useful information on the mystery of Google's page rank algorithms.
- Pagerank Explained. Google's PageRank and how to make the most of it.
- Pagerank explained, and what you can do with it. PageRank calculator.
- How Google Finds Your Needle in the Web's Haystack
- How Google Finds Your Needle in the Web's Haystack
As we'll see, the trick is to ask the web itself to rank the importance of pages...
David Austin
Grand Valley State University
david at merganser.math.gvsu.edu - Google PageRank - Democracy or Corporate Muscle? [Search Marketing]
- PageRank is Google's big drawcard. But how does PR impact on your rank in the Google results? And which sites benefit the most from this unique system? Tony investigates - and draws some unexpected conclusions!
- More info on PageRank
- Every few months we update the PageRank data that we show in the toolbar, and every few months I see a few repeated questions, so let me take a pass at some of them.
News on Google frustration around the world
Fetching RSS feed... please stand byThink you should quit Google?
If you dare to try, here are some links that might help.
- TechBlog: Maybe I should just quit Google cold turkey
- Maybe I should just quit Google cold turkey.
- Google Users: I Can Quit Anytime
- I can quit anytime I want to...
- Why am I still using Google?
- For years now I've been using Google, dating back to before I entered this industry, at a time when Google was providing relevant results. So a big part of this is habit. My fingers automatically type Google.com whether I like it or not.
- Screw you Google! | SiteInsights
- I'm through with all of it! I'm done worrying about both on and off page optimization%u2026 I'm done worrying about SERP's%u2026 I'm done worrying about linking strategies%u2026 Keywords%u2026 And Search Engine friendly titles!!! I don't care if I ever get another visitor from Google...
- How to uninstall the Google toolbar (IE)
- Below are two methods you can use to uninstall the Google Toolbar and remove it from your browser.
- How to uninstall the Google toolbar (Firefox)
- There are two ways you can remove the Google Toolbar for Firefox.
Are you in an anti-Google mood? Wear it & Share it.
Photos from flickr users who are frustrated with Google
My second major, personal siting of Google Evil. Putting a news link in my gmail...
curated content from Flickr
Your turn: Am I right?
submit
-
Reply
- moe moe Feb 4, 2010 @ 11:37 pm
- use http://www.khojx.com for search saves energy
-
Reply
- John Kameson John Kameson Dec 23, 2009 @ 6:34 am
- Cut corners with Google maps for low quality mapping. How tight must a business be to use Google ?
The directions suck and the accuracy is poor. People use them out out convenience as its certainly not quality. The customisation is weak and there enterprise programme is a rip off for what minimal functions you get !
-
Reply
- googlesuxdafatone googlesuxdafatone Oct 7, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
- Google Rep - I apologize but we can no longer partner with you or your network of sites.
Former Google Adsense Partner - Oh no, what ever shall I do? The Gevil Greedle Google refuses to permit allowing me to partner with them. Apparently the sites weren't up to Google snuff.
Brain inside former google adsense partner - I know, spend every waking second and minute toppling the Gonglomerate? Sounds like an idea pinky!
Google search = Internet Yellow Page Lookup
Google Chrome = Crap Beta squared
Google Apps = Does anyone use this junk?
Google Maps = Get your peeper cameras off my streets
Google Earth = sounds about right
-
Reply
- Dan Course Dan Course Sep 14, 2009 @ 11:05 am
- I used to think they were amazing too. But I got forced to choose what internet things I like the most recently, http://www.dontdoitdan.co.uk/2009/09/shag-marry-kill-in-the-online-world/
Didn't turn out as Google in the end!
Dan Course
dontdoitdan.com
-
Reply
- pipes pipes Jun 6, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
- lame ass bastards. . .
- Load More
by hmsweaver
Mom-Geek-Blogger. You can visit Bella Twilight Shop, Geek Mom Mashup, Sugar & Sweets and Club Twilight, to see more of what I do, or HeatherWeaver... (more)
Explore related pages
10 Easy Steps to Becoming a Successful Webmaster- Google has made it easy to become a webmaster using the tools they have either c...
Make Money Online with The Monetizer Squidoo!- The Monetizer is a cool character looking to create some serious "inter-net...
Affiliate Elite Software Review | $294 Special Bonus | AffiliateElite- Affiliate Elite Special Offer - Now only $4.95 for the first month - cancel anyt...
Commission Blueprint- The Commission Blueprint is a step by step blueprint that reveals exactly how to...
Website Magazine - Always good, always FREE- Once in awhile a great resource comes along that lends itself to keeping on top...
Is Google Free Enterprise??- The Google Monopoly has now completely monopolised the internet. With it's lates...
